Category Archives: Walking with God

Trust Is Not An Instinct

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I do hope this blog doesn’t become a mere regurgitation of other things I find on the internet. But sometimes you come across something that so simply and perfectly encapsulates something you’ve thought for a while, that it must be shared.

“Faith is not an instinct. It certainly is not a feeling. … It is an act of the will, a choice, based on the Unbreakable Word of a God who cannot lie, and who showed us what love and obedience and sacrifice mean, in the person of Jesus Christ.” – Elisabeth Elliot

I’ve realized this about a close cousin of faith as well – trust.

I often ask myself, “Why don’t I trust God more?”

But it dawned on me one day that I was really asking, “Why don’t my emotions feel calmer about trusting God?”

And I saw that although it would certainly be nice if my troubled waters would settle when considering something God is asking of me, it was not necessary. It was an entirely different question than asking whether I trusted God. That answer would ultimately be shown in my actions, not in how I felt about them.

You can plunk a benjamin down into the offering plate and still feel tense afterwards – but you trusted.

You can sign up for that short-term mission trip and be freaking out as the plane descends into your target city – but you trusted.

You can refuse to deflect blame and remain flustered because the theoretical deflectee really did contribute to the problem – but you trusted.

Conversely, our churches are full of people who throw up their hands in response to synthy worship songs but deny Christ with their actions everywhere else throughout the week.

We think we love God. We genuinely do. Many of us simply don’t have stop long enough to see our actions reflecting otherwise. There’s too little reaction time between instinct and result, too little translating work done upon our impulses and hesitations. We live in the nation of sin and haven’t learned its native language well enough to get ourselves to the airport. We never figured out that many of our sins are instincts, not conscious decisions (though that makes them no less sinful) – that the broad and wide road is also the path of least resistance.

Christ calls us to be smarter than that. It takes self-awareness and reflection, which a lot of us don’t want to do. Fortunately much of it is already done for us and laid out in the Scriptures. I encourage you to read them today. They bring us such great hope. You will find, allied with and living inside you, the words of…

“…a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have One who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet He did not sin.” – Hebrews 4:15

Thanking God for My Trials?

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You know it’s a great day when I’m cribbing from Mr. T for spiritual content:

Yes, I think I can say this as well.

2022 was a humbling year. I was brought low in a couple ways. Moreso than my health struggles, it was a year of redirection. The Lord showed me that the plans He has for my next few years will probably not mirror my own. I do think there are seeds He’s planted; they’ll just be sprouting in a different place. The realization was hard.

It was also a year revealing of my character. Thanks to friends courageous enough to speak, I gained probably more insight into my flesh and my darkness than I have before. And, happily, the knowledge is leading to change.

But I find it yanks at my pride to say that. After all…that aforementioned flesh doesn’t really care about change.

“He makes us walk when we want to run, sit still when we want to walk, for He has things to do in our souls that we are not interested in.” – Elisabeth Elliott

We can hear about all the things suffering is doing for us – molding us into the character of Christ, teaching us to receive comfort so we may pass it on, chastening us as children, or simply loosening our death grip on this world so we may reach for the next one – but if our flesh isn’t on board with His purposes, it’s of little use.

It’s a choice to receive these things. Billions suffer daily. They obviously aren’t all learning the right lessons from it.

It really seems rather audacious of God to not only allow us to struggle, but to insist we rejoice (though He also delivers and rescues us at other times, and will not withhold his justice and vengeance on those who have wronged). If a human said that, we’d call him insensitive, sadistic. Rejoice? I don’t want to rejoice. This sucks.

Of course, a human is not God, so the rules are different. But still, we don’t want to thank. We’d much rather chafe and grow resentful; we’d much rather resort to prayer believing that nothing bad ever comes by God’s hand and that enough beseeching can get us out of it; we’d much rather turn to our own devices and scheme and spin and outwork the bad circumstances.

It’s at this point that I have to ask – do I believe God’s appraisal of things, or not?

Do I believe that what He calls a treasure, really is treasure?

Do I believe that my sanctification really should be a priority?

Do I believe that suffering really is the one conduit to at least some of these good things?

Do I believe that is can and should be received with…openness and gratitude? As an old Promise Keepers song had it,

Let it be said of us
That the Lord was our passion
That with gladness we bore
Every cross we were given

I want to grieve. I want to seethe. I want a reprieve from the mandate to believe. It’d be much nicer to just go on with a simple, easy life and not have to accept any crosses.

But we don’t get that. It’s not part of the Jesus package.

So instead of grudging, “I have no choice anyway” acceptance, I will choose to bear with gladness what I am given, whether it be gravel or meat and potatoes.

Surely God does not begrudge us prayers of deliverance. Pray them.

And surely He does not allow suffering unfeelingly. As Dane Ortlund wrote in Gentle and Lowly, “He does not do so from His heart.”

But He does do them. And if the ultimate destination is being closer to Him, then I will accept His claim that such results really are the greatest treasure of all, and readjust my worldview accordingly.

And when I do, ah, how His love is felt. For when I fully grab the hem of His garment – the Word, unfiltered and full – then the barriers between us fall away. No more halfway comfort, our relationship distorted by my selective belief and my reluctant posture.

He gives and takes away. He is close and attentive through it all. God truly does care about my heart, yearning to see me peaceful and joyful through even the worst, yearning for my heart to be protected, yearning to see me ironclad against despair.

So I will be grateful for that which has made me closer to Him.

“My goal is to know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, assuming that I will somehow reach the resurrection from among the dead.” – Phillippians 3:10-11

Appeal to Your Caesar

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In recent weeks, my church has been studying the “farewell tour” of Paul from Acts 20 onwards. It’s an inspiring but haunting account, overshadowed by Paul’s knowledge that he is moving towards life imprisonment for the Gospel’s sake and will never again be a free man. As he prepares to journey to Jerusalem, his fate is confirmed by prophetic signs. He is convinced enough that he tells the believers in Ephesus and Caesarea that they will never see him again.

Sure enough, the “least of the apostles” gets only a week in town before the local Jews start rioting for his head. This kicks off a series of events during which God continues to weave and dodge and navigate Paul out of deadly situation after deadly situation – yet he never actually gets out of Roman custody. Paul dodges, literally at the last second, a potentially fatal Roman scourging. He adds four (23:10, 23:12-35, 25:3, 27:42) to his already considerable list of escaped assassination attempts. He survives a shipwreck, then a viper’s bite. He rifles through a series of Roman bureaucrats to which he (successfully) appeals his legal innocence.

It’s an incredible streak of escapes, too much to attribute to luck. This is God keeping Paul on his feet.

Yet…he never gets free.

Have you ever asked why God keeps kinda coming to your rescue – but not really?

Have you ever found yourself on a sixth march around Jericho, acknowledging the role of God’s sovereignty in the fact that you still have strength in your feet, but wondering when the walls are scheduled to come down?

Have you ever admitted with a sigh that there’s been a lot of good along the way, and a lot of joy, but you’re still weary and unhappy?

Have you ever sneakily wished that God’s deliverance would take a different form?

It is revealing that the Lord found it appropriate to encourage Paul after the uproar in the Sanhedrin. He must have needed it. He kept having to prove his innocence of both the Jewish and Roman laws, consistently a razor’s blade from vindication, bailed out repeatedly by Rome’s respect for procedure and even once getting a military escort of hundreds to the next town to protect him from Jewish assassins. But the culture of political corruption kept rising up and pulling him back down. “Out of the frying pan, into the fire” was his motto by now, but where was it all going?

In Chapter 25, standing before yet another two-bit flunkey stating his case, Paul appears – to the casual reader – to have finally had enough. After years of house arrest, rather than allowing his can to get kicked down the road again, he decides to quit dinking around and requests his case be taken to the highest court possible. Announcing his innocence yet again, Paul speaks four glorious words: “I appeal to Caesar!”

Caesar. The big dog. The emperor. Gladiators and coliseums, singing-while-Rome-burns Caesar. That guy.

What’s Paul’s purpose in this appeal? He has a track record of defending himself to encourage the church and keep The Way clean of criticism, but I wonder – did Paul finally see the purpose of it all? Did he appeal because he spotted an opportunity to take his testimony from dust to marble? He knew God wanted him in Rome, but he could have contented himself with gaining his freedom and then preaching in the streets. A man of lesser character would have just accepted the bribes offered by Roman officials, justifying it with “this will give me the chance to preach to the commoners in Rome!”

Instead, Paul aims high. He grabs the chance to preach Jesus to the loftiest authority he can reach – and only his long custody could have given him the opportunity.

Paul doesn’t get an audience with Nero, but with Agrippa II, the last of the Herodians. So many parallels to Jesus’ life – unjustly accused, beaten, dragged before a Herod – Paul must have been delighted to follow in his master’s footsteps. He does not hesitate to proselytize directly to this governor. And when Agrippa asks, “Do you think that in such a short time you can persuade me to be a Christian?”, you know Paul is thinking, I’ve seen shorter.

The old Apostle understands that all the narrow scrapes that seem to have gone nowhere – all the obedience and miraculous escapes that still never lead to freedom – were for a purpose all along. Through them, and through his appeal to Caesar, God maneuvered Paul into a room with Roman royalty to share the gospel.

This is what we Christians must do when we find ourselves beleaguered yet again – another illness, another termination, another failed visa, another year of loneliness – and wondering what could possibly be the point of spending a lifetime pressed but not crushed.

Appeal to your Caesar.

By which I mean, find the highest audience to whom your pain gives you unique access, and share Jesus. Ask God to show you what it is. Use your story to reach the most people you can. Ask God to turn what was the enemy meant for evil into a demon-crushing good.

This is a request God will not refuse. He would have all people, eloquent or not, share his Word. And that Word is the opening to an eternity with God that leaves all earthly suffering in the dust, as Paul said: “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us” (Romans 8:18).

Paul could have gone faint. He could have groaned and given up. But he chose to defy the purposes of Satan, who desired Agrippa II to hear the Gospel about as much as he desired a hole in the head. Despite the weariness and the devastating string of setbacks, Paul kept fighting.

Do the same. Appeal to your Caesar. Ask God for the opening. Let the enemy know his worst blows have no purpose except what God sets for them.

I’m glad you tuned in today. If you found this post to be of value, please feel free to share it on social media. Thanks a bunch!

The Restful Obedience of the Women at the Tomb

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Sometimes it’s the smallest Easter eggs that bring the best lessons.

I was reading through the Easter account of Luke and stopped on a verse I probably would have normally overlooked.

The women who had come with Him from Galilee followed along and observed the tomb and how His body was placed. Then they returned and prepared spices and perfumes. And they rested on the Sabbath according to the commandment. (Luke 23:55-56)

If any verse were to win the “Most Likely to be Overlooked” Award for the Passion accounts, this might be it. Instead, it’s once again proven that no verse from God’s hand is an afterthought.

The women watching their Savior being laid to rest in death…rested on the Sabbath.

Am I the only one blown away by this little detail?

These women have just experienced the greatest disappointment of their lives. As far as they could see (before Jesus opened their eyes), their faith was left in tatters. Jesus, the Savior they’d come to believe in, was gone. No redeeming Israel, no salvation of the people…just a victorious Roman oppression and stifling religious leadership.

Yet these women rested on the Sabbath.

You have to wonder about their state of mind as they watched Jesus’ burial. Did they expect a resurrection? They were preparing enbalming spices, so likely not. Precious few, if anyone, seemed to understand what was going on that weekend before the risen Jesus opened their eyes. What had come of the prophecies that shared a scroll with those Sabbath commandments? What had come of their hope, their anchor, their very light?

Yet these women rested on the Sabbath.

I don’t know that many people who’d be that obedient to God in the face of such confusion and letdown.

I know a lot of people who would walk away instead. Who would run from fear, like his disciples. Who would conclude God had earned their abandonment. Who have concluded that very thing, looking upon the pain and destruction God allows in the world and telling God, “I don’t like your terms. I’m not following you anymore.” People I know.

Yet these women rested on the Sabbath.

Sure, it was habit for them after a life of faithfulness. But it was a habit tied to promise, a promise that now seemed dashed. Cutting that string should have dropped their faith right through the earth. If the prophecies weren’t reliable, why bother with anything else?

Yet these women rested on the Sabbath.

I am inspired – and exposed. This seemingly small detail challenges me. Am I willing to obey God in the details great and small despite the disappointments life has brought me? Am I willing to follow him when he doesn’t appear to be following my life that closely? If he slayed me, would I trust him, as Job did?

These women came back days later to enbalm their Lord. Instead, he buried their doubt.

May ours meet the same fate, proven through obedience.

 

I’m glad you tuned in today. If you found this post to be of value, please feel free to share it on social media. Thanks a bunch!

Leave Your Egypt Behind

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It can be quite fun to view our Christian faith as a long, extended defeat of external enemies, and one of the most familiar stories is the exodus. God’s people are enslaved by Egypt for four centuries, and the day finally comes when they pay the price. While instructing the Israelites to protect themselves from the angel’s wrath by spreading lamb’s blood on their doorposts – a ritual installed as Passover – the Lord’s hand moves against Egypt in ten plagues and then the destruction of their army in the Red Sea. The lesson: “The Lord will fight for you; you must be quiet” (Exodus 14:14).

But that is not Scripture’s final lesson on the exodus.

Centuries later, there is a new Passover lamb. Where once blood on the doorposts served to guard huddled Israelite families from God’s judging hand, it is ultimately revealed as a foreshadowing for a much greater protection. As with so many things in Scripture, something in the Old Testament is taken up and given fulfillment in Jesus: “Clean out the old yeast so that you may be a new batch. You are indeed unleavened, for Christ our Passover has been sacrificed” (1 Corinthians 5:7).

Glory to God. Our personal taking up of Christ has spared us God’s judgment once and for all.

But it begs the question: If Jesus is the new Passover, then who is the new Egypt?

The answer is not so pleasant. Some flavors of church love to emphasize the destruction of our enemies, giving it a prominent place in their teaching, and people love to hear it. It’s not that it’s un-Biblical.

But like any matter of discernment, the problem is often what’s not there. We like to talk about our enemies’ defeat, but we miss the one enemy that matters most. We’d rather not hear about that, for the revelation is disruptive, tense, exposing.

For the exodus story ultimately had a sad ending. What happened to Israel once they were freed? Did they file straight to Canaan without hesitation and conquer it in God’s name and power? Did they honor God’s deliverance with faith and trust? They didn’t. They doubted, grumbled, set up golden calves. They ate quail as a concession from God, then quailed from his mission. They never saw the promised land.

For although triumph of our enemies is part of the faith, what does Scripture always guide us back to if not our own hearts?

If Jesus is the new Passover, then who is the new Egypt?

We are.

You and I.

For if, while we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, then how much more, having been reconciled, will we be saved by His life! (Romans 5:10)

It’s easy to focus on external enemies. It spares us from having to look inwards and admit the gossip we’ve been partaking in, or the white lies we’ve told our clock punch, or how long we’ve neglected to crack a Bible.

But sin isn’t an external enemy. It’s internal. The New Testament ultimately guides our vision back to our own hearts, and reveals us – all of us – as God’s enemy. Such stark words! And God’s greatest mission is not to deliver us from external enemies, but from the sinfulness of our own hearts. That’s why the best teachers remind us that the greatest enemy is not without, but within.

And God tells us to leave that Egypt.

Leave self.

Leave sin.

Leave the idols and doubts and grumbling.

And walk to the promised land of faith, selflessness, and peace.

Next time you read the exodus story during the upcoming Easter season, remember that its ultimate fulfillment was in Christ and his deliverance of us from our sin. Choose to leave your Egypt. Leave your sin behind. Use your life to honor Christ and all he’s done for you.

 

I’m glad you tuned in today. If you found this post to be of value, please feel free to share it on social media. Thanks a bunch!

The Thing I Most Ask to Be Delivered From

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A book I’ve been reading posed a whopper of a question: “If God were to remove one of your greatest sources of pain, what would you ask him to take?”

Now, this was not followed by another ill-fated health-and-wealth excursion, no tired treatise of living your best life now through positive thinking and self-actualization. The author was actually framing it as a teaser for heaven, one of whose rewards will be to wipe away every source of pain.

But when I read the question, I found myself applying it to my life here, on earth.

What would I ask God to take?

My mind riffled through any one of countless prayer requests, obstacles, and disappointments, both for myself and those closest to me. If I could pick only one, what would it be?

I know a handful of things I probably would have settled on, in years gone past.

Now, I wouldn’t pick any of them.

Instead, one goal now overrides the rest.

I would ask God to remove my inability to know his love.

Scripture and its teachers keep on telling us that we can find true purpose, joy, and safety only in God, but do we listen? Not particularly. We’re the stubborn teenager who just has to find things out for herself.

We look for satisfaction in being selected for projects and leadership. It lasts for an instant. Then we’re wondering why we didn’t get selected again, or whether we did well the first time. It crumbles to ash in our mouths.

We look for satisfaction in relationships. It lasts for an instant. Then we’re overanalyzing, navigating hurdles, finding ourselves in need of constant reassurance. It turns to sand in our hands.

We look for satisfaction in food, drink, or distraction. It lasts for an instant. Then we wake up to the consequences, sending much of it literally into the toilet.

I’ve tried these things, in varying degrees. I’m glad to say I’ve never committed any grievous sins in them. But there was one: thinking that they’d be better than God.

We don’t always wake up explicitly thinking “these things must be better than God”. It’s not that we high-ball the Other Things; we just low-ball God. It’s hard to cultivate a relationship with the unseen, so we gravitate towards the seen. And oftentimes, we find what we think is a “safe zone” within our Other Things (enjoying lots of food but not alcohol, seeking a godly marriage rather than just any marriage, looking to bring your talents to ministry rather than the corporate meat cleaver). It’s still not God. Not necessarily.

When God says he’s the source of life, he’s not being insecure. He’s not giving a big cosmic “you’ll get nothing else and like it”. He’s not being the psychotic parent who goes out and sabotages a daughter’s relationships so she’ll stay home. He’s rescuing us from disaster. As long as we build anything without his love as the foundation, it will collapse in on itself, taking us with it.

For that reason, and for his own glory, I really do want to know his love more than anything now. Seriously. He’s convinced me.

So I ask him to remove the barriers. He has erected none of them; they’re all of my own construction. But he can show us what they are, help us tear them down. All that’s left is beating the illusion, destroying the images of worldly goodness that crop up all around us, even good gifts that God has given us, or wishes to. They look so good. So we must endeavor to fill our minds with God instead. Meditation, Scripture, the spiritual disciplines…only then will he look good to us.

 

I’m glad you tuned in today. If you found this post to be of value, please feel free to share it on social media. Thanks a bunch!

 

You are Not in Control of Your Own Happiness

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I get it. The common sentiment that “you’re in control of your own happiness” is meant to bring us from a place of learned helplessness to one of responsibility. It’s intended to take our focus off external circumstances, to free us from waiting for the galaxy to align and make us happy, and instead empower us to take charge of our attitudes. On the surface, it sounds like just what the doctor ordered.

In reality, it’s jumping from the frying pan into the fire.

Sure, there’s value in learning to shape our worldviews. It’s life-changing to realize that there are days in which we can stare our stresses and disappointments in the face, say “I can have a good day despite you,” and discover that it actually happens! It’s not every day, admittedly – the meter tends to bounce back and forth – but we do have a role to play. A limited one.

If we are ultimately in control of our own happiness, though, it’s a sentence of death and despair.

We are disasters. When you examine what Scripture says about our nature and our ability to honestly perceive ourselves, we are disasters. I nearly left the house wearing mismatched shoes last Thursday, and the Bible says that’s the least of my dysfunctions. Am I trustworthy with my own happiness? Not on your life. I know myself too well.

How do we really know what will bring us happiness? Most of us are willing to look back on mistakes we made five years ago and admit we were off the beaten track. But we’re still judging from the same vantage point: by what feels right. We may have some more wisdom to aid in the squinting, and that’s something, but we haven’t actually changed positions. It felt right back then, too, though we didn’t know why.

Isn’t anyone starting to suspect that we might not be the best judge in these matters? I’m looking for a better yardstick – something outside myself.

Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:7-8)

I found a great Tim Keller quote recently that basically says that the Bible’s contradiction of your own instincts and desires is actually proof of its veracity – that a Bible that never contradicts you, but somehow always conveniently echoes you, is probably one you should be highly suspicious of. Like spam in your email.

Something outside us, however, can be trusted – especially if its accuracy has been verified historically, as the Bible’s has (despite greatly exaggerated reports otherwise).

I’m glad the people in my life don’t want me to be happy. Well, they do, but they first want me to be holy, because they recognize that one comes before the other. God asks for some sacrifices in return for happiness, yes, but given the sacrifice he made for us, it’s not an unfair request. Without him, it would be a cross for us.

You’re not in control of your own happiness – and you don’t need to be. God is willing to take that over for you. That’s actually a relief, if you think about it.

 

I’m glad you tuned in today. If you found this post to be of value, please feel free to share it on social media. Thanks a bunch!

Your Greatest Worship Experience Won’t Come At Church

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I don’t have much against flashy, neon-drenched worship services courtesy of starched hair and skinny jeans.

That’s because I don’t know the hearts of the hair and jeans. When the great test of worship comes at 3am – when they get the dreaded phone call, or when they simply wake up with the old terror pressing in – for all I know, they pass with flying colors. They trust God. They worship at their bedside. Why assume they don’t?

See, your greatest worship experiences probably won’t come at church.

I attend a church that doesn’t have one of “those” worship experiences every week. We try to stay simple, competent, and authentic. Fortunately, it’s also a church that teaches us to think of ourselves with “sober judgment”, which has helped me check my critical spirit towards other churches and how they operate. We celebrate when other churches succeed.

After all, what access do I have to the hospital rooms in which the rubber of those believers’ faith meets the road?

What access do I have to their last late-night session with their thinning checkbook?

What access do I have when twenty years of isolation finally breaches the dam of their hearts and leaves them curled up against a silent wall, even after all their valiant demeanor from stage?

Your greatest worship experience won’t come at church. It comes unscheduled, unrehearsed, unforeseen, on days other than Sunday, when your character and trust are tested by life’s nastiest assaults. It comes when you’re on the ragged edge of snapping at your coworkers, or when the bottle’s comfort just feels irresistible, or the arms of someone you know you shouldn’t be seeing. The true and only question is simply this: will you choose him? Over despair? Over idols? Over distance?

That’s worship.

Raising your hands on Sunday means nothing if you sin with them the other six days. Tithing means little from a resistant giver. A degree from a Bible college is pointless if it’s not put into practice. This sounds harsh, but I can draw no other conclusion from Jesus’ words.

Worship at its deepest form happens not on the stage, but in the closet.

That’s actually comforting. It means your life doesn’t have to be the internal equivalent of multicolored spotlights and smoke machines for you to come before him. It means that humble churches without such assets can still run to him. It means that the “robe of righteousness” (Isaiah 61:10) is ours regardless of the rest of our wardrobe.

Worship with your life.

And if it’s been a while since you did so, worship with repentance right now, in your closet. It can be done. Jesus awaits with open arms.

 

I’m glad you tuned in today. If you found this post to be of value, feel free to share on social media. Thanks a bunch!

When God Moves Us Fraidy-Cats

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23746683041_6dd4b048d1_zThis weekend, I helped someone move, and there was a cat involved.

Some cats handle moving better than others, staring wide-eyed with fascination out the window as a world beyond their understanding flits by.

This was not such a cat. She has to be the most timid beast I’ve ever met. For weeks, she has been crouched behind whatever will give her cover while her owner clanked dishes into boxes and thumped belongings around – the usual chaos of moving. At one point, once almost everything was packed up, she hid behind a book on the floor. A book. The front cover was upturned, and she hid her face behind it, rump protruding from behind.

And once she was safely in the car and there was nowhere left to hide, she simply turned her face to the corner and kept it there for the entire ten-hour ride.

I was tempted to make fun of her.

But then I saw myself in her.

The cat had no way to comprehend what was happening. It was beyond her. Cars, houses, moves, jobs, thunder, sunshine…she lacked the faculties to understand a tenth of it. All she knew was that she was being moved into an unfamiliar environment, without knowing how long, sound and fury all around her.

Yet the humans in charge knew it signified nothing. We knew it was an unremarkable move between states. We knew it would all be over soon, that she’d be okay, and that she would eventually grow into her new surroundings.

We are this cat.

When God moves us, it scares the willies out of us, honestly. We haven’t the capacity to see or understand a tenth of what’s going on. The spiritual clanks and crashes behind what we see and hear, the purposes of God in it all – it’s on the same level to us as elevators and internal combustion are to the average cat.

And so we turn our faces to the corner, and a little part of our hearts (maybe not so little) resenting God. We want our old place, our comfortable toys and occasional plate of tuna water.

But God sees a greater reality. Wonderful things are happening, or at least necessary. He knows our destination, knows his purpose, knows all the plans he’s carefully laid out. He is not callously throwing us to a new owner, or casting us onto the street.

He has packed everything we need and sent it ahead of us; he has arranged for its unpacking when we arrive.

When we drive through thunderstorms on the route, they will not destroy us; when the sun rises and sets on our journeys, he remains our light.

And most of all, he himself will be there.

And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and welcome you into My presence, so that you also may be where I am. (John 14:3)

And though we hide from him in fear and frustration, he keeps pursuing us, like I did with this cat. He seeks us in our hiding places, turning over unpacked bags and blankets until he finds our trembling form, and reassures us.

Will we wander out again? Will we peek out from the maze of dollies and askew furniture, walk back up to our Owner, and take a drink from his water again?

 

I’m glad you tuned in today. If you found this post to be of value, please feel free to share it on social media. Thanks a bunch.

Resting Killface and the Hard Glory of Yet Another Task

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desertResting killface is a condition in which the mouth’s corners do not naturally turn upward, even when you’re eight tics happier than you look. The result is a face like mine, perpetually frozen somewhere between “quietly petrified”, “incurably grave”, and “Deep South serial killer”.

Your parents during your childhood: “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you’d reply over your book.

“You sure?”

“Yep.”

“You look annoyed.”

“I’m not. Now I’m annoyed because you keep asking.”

Years ago, I arrived at a party to announce I’d nabbed a new teaching position, only for a friend to go, “so why do you look like someone just shot your dog?”

If any of this is familiar, you might have resting killface. We’re good, we swear! We only look like we’ll strangle the next person who approaches us.

But eventually I had to face how my killface was impacting my social life. When I stood around in neutral, my downer look would repel folks. When I made a joke, my lack of smile would conflict with my tone, leaving others unsure of my intentions. It was subtle, but influential.

Following on this revelation’s heels was the fact that the onus was on me to change.

oasis-67549_1280.jpgThat was frustrating. I’ve never been socially gifted; friendmaking has been slow. To hear that I had a hand in getting where I was, and had more work to do, felt honestly like insult added to injury.

But the world wouldn’t change for me. Social dynamics were social dynamics. No matter how many Disney movies sang “be yourself”, no matter how many memes of people snapping their fingers in a “Z” motion and celebrating rejection of all advice, the score was the same. I needed to accept either this new “growth opportunity”…or the status quo.

Have you waged a years-long campaign only to be confronted with yet another battle?

Your student with special needs uncovers another learning disability.

Your illness breaks remission.

The new boss appears and turns out worse than your last three.

God exposes another soul weakness that needs work before he ends your singleness (I do believe he does this with some, my last post notwithstanding).

Another retreat fails to fix your marriage.

Your church keeps on bickering and back-biting, and now its foremost tither announces he’s moving.

Ugh.

I think of Shasta in The Horse and His Boy. He has just raced thousands of miles across country, first in a desperate flight from slavery, then carrying word of a coming invasion of the free and noble Archenland. He’s evaded city police, endured days of desert heat, and been chased by lions. Gasping, ready to collapse, he finally reaches Archenland’s citizens with news of the impending attack – only to learn that he’s the only one who can reach the king in time. He must keep going.

…”he writhed inside at what seemed the cruelty and unfairness of the demand. He had not yet learned that if you do one good deed, your reward usually is to do another and harder and better one.”

I don’t know where C.S. Lewis got this sage stuff (well, yes I do), but it’s the kind that alters a young man’s trajectory.

Perhaps it is not cruelty but honor and reward, wearying though our journey be. Perhaps we should throw ourselves in without hesitation, as Shasta did the first river he found after his desert crossing. Or into the next leg of his journey.

For Shasta’s mission succeeded. In fact, not only did Archenland receive his warning in time to fortify its defenses until Narnian reinforcements could arrive, but Shasta discovered who he really was: the long-lost son of the very king he’d warned, heir to the very kingdom he helped save.

Be refreshed by God today. It is only through these travails that we will discover Whose sons and daughters we’ve been all along.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:9)

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