A few years ago, I stood in my church’s kitchen combing through massive chunks of steaming pork, to be sold heaped between buns as a mission fundraiser.
As I coaxed the juicy meat into smaller chunks, I was disappointed.
I’d recently been pulled out of a couple ministry opportunities at my church. I’d been assured that it wasn’t about my heart or competence – just other things going on.
The struggle in my heart was real. Sin kept whispering at me, You wanted to do X and Y and here you are in the kitchen, holding a fork. The Spirit in me wasn’t that stupid. I knew it’s not about me. I knew ambition is unholy. And I was more than happy to be doing my part in the mission. But sometimes lies can feel overwhelming, especially in an incumbent climate of fear and self-criticism. A gale against a fragile…
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Brandon J. Adams 
Chuckling Brandon, I remember this post. I’m telling you, “never trust a man that can’t shred pork.” 🙂
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LOL. Well, thank you. 🙂
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Man this is good. Thanks for sharing bro.
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Always good to have you around, John!
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This is something I’m learning as well. A bad motive might be mixed in with a good motive too. I’m still learning to trust God when things don’t pan out the way I wanted to. I’m also still learning to trust God when He’s “shredding” me because I don’t think He knows what He is doing.
Thanks for putting this into words.
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Thanks for commenting!
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